In recent days and weeks, it’s been nearly impossible to turn on the news without seeing reports of violence, aggression and, sadly, death from somewhere in America. It’s a dark time for the country’s citizens, and many of us are having to learn to deal with grief on a level we’ve never seen before.
Saying goodbye after the passing of a loved one is one of the most painful processes you can ever expect to live through. One of the first things you’ll hear from people who’ve gone through this is that the grief never really ends, but that you’ll get used to it over time. That’s how profound this kind of pain can be – we can only hope for it to dull with time.
It’s for this reason, specifically, that we attach so much weight to the traditions around death. Burials and funerals are one thing, usually accompanied by wakes, memorials and other opportunities to “say goodbye”. They’re a valuable thing to the people left behind and, when it comes to scattering ashes, there are even more ways to memorialize a loved one.
Scattering Ashes and Last Wishes
It’s not uncommon for us to feel like losing a loved one has left a physical hole in our daily lives. In these cases, a physical space to visit while you are mourning can help you to process your loss. The comfort of visiting a grave, for instance, gives you somewhere to experience your feelings and can be very cathartic.
When scattering your ashes, look for something you can physically visit or touch. Plots of grass, benches, small fountains. Anything that might connect you with the physical act of “visiting” your loved one can make the process of going on living easier.
Also read: Interesting Facts About Funeral Flowers
Carefully planning the day of the scattering is important to guaranteeing nothing goes wrong. The actual process of scattering human cremains is less delicate than the movies make it seem. These aren’t soft, fine particles that have been sifted and are ready to gently float through the air. What they are is coarse and full of visible bone fragments, meaning scattering and cleaning a portion of the ashes will be more difficult than you might expect.
You’re not going to want to go through this process alone. Bring a few trusted friends or family members with you on the day, and have them go through the cremains with you ahead of time so you have a portion that “works” for scattering. Someone may want to help you clean up afterwards, before bringing the ashes back.
Never Forget To Take Care Of Yourself
This is an important moment in your relationship with your loved one, albeit a sad and final one. Keep in mind, however, that self-care is still extremely important, especially if you want to honor their memory of you. It’s normal for “letting go” to take time and be painful – just remember to be good to yourself. Spend time actually recuperating and learning to move forward, no matter how long that takes. Speak to your friends and family, looking for support as early as possible.